


Lovely Lady

by BenjisCoolTimes



Series: The Weeping Willow [1]
Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Growing Up Together, Outside Sex, Smoking, Smut, sort of a song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 20:55:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9256922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenjisCoolTimes/pseuds/BenjisCoolTimes
Summary: A willow tree in Harvey James Park watches Ben and Leslie grow up together and fall in love





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N 1: For my darling and beautiful Lindsey who is a lovely lady herself <3
> 
> A/N 2: I do not own the lyrics to this song! If you want to listen to it, it's called "Crush" by DMB and it is an AMAZING piece of music.
> 
> A/N 3: I hope you enjoy this story! Thank you so much in advance for reading it and leaving comments/ kudos. You all brighten my day with your kindness :)

The moon was bright against the midnight blue sky, hanging heavy and full as the stars twinkled from behind, illuminating Leslie’s entire face. Her hair was so fiercely blonde it almost appeared as though the sun fell straight from the sky and melted onto her head, throwing the rest of the universe into a perpetual darkness. 

She was like the sun in a lot of ways; unrelenting and warm all at once, and it was easy to feel insignificant next to her, small. She was larger than life, and he…he was not, but she made him want to be.

God, did she make him want to be.

Ben pulled a pack of Marlboros from his jacket pocket and ignored the swishing of Leslie’s curls as she shook her head in disapproval. He cupped a hand around the flame and inhaled deeply, reveling in how good it felt to tilt his head back and push smoke past his teeth. It swirled for a moment in the air, suspended in time, before blowing off to someplace else, never to be seen again. 

“I can’t believe we actually did it, you know?” Leslie said as soon as they reached the willow tree in the corner of Harvey James Park. 

_Their willow tree._

“I can. We were smarter than the rest of the idiots in that place combined,” he said, taking her hand into his and running a thumb across her knuckles. They didn’t used to do that- hold hands, but now it was becoming more and more common, along with innocent touches and shared glances.

He ached to kiss her. 

“Well, we did graduate top two after all.”

“And remind me again who the valedictorian was?” he teased.

“You,” she growled in submission, and he laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him. He settled on kissing her hair.

For now. 

“That’s right, babydoll.” 

It’d been something of a competition between them- to see who would graduate at the very top, because it was sure right from the very beginning that no one else even stood a chance. Needless to say, he’d won the bet, and had already teased her relentlessly about all the phenomenal things he was going to invest in with the money she was forced to hand over. 

As if he actually could buy The Minnesota Twins with a crisp five dollar bill. 

“But you did _alright_ , I guess. Just not as good as me.”

That earned him a well-deserved slap on the arm along with a _shut up, Benji,_ that made the corners of his mouth twitch. He sank down until bark pressed uncomfortably into his back and roots dug out of the ground beneath him, making him well aware of how sore his butt would be in the morning. He pulled her down with him, until both of their legs were stretched out and their hands were clasped together, resting on his thigh. His mind was whirring with her beside him, but that was far from being unusual- it always did that in her presence. In fact, it seemed as though his entire body jittered whenever she was around, almost as if someone had picked him up and shaken him violently until all of his organs went into overdrive. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” she whispered suddenly, like he didn’t already know.

Like he wasn't going to miss her too. 

“I know, but we still have the rest of the summer, and then we’ll both be home for Thanksgiving,” he told her. “And in any case, you’re going to be too busy at school to even think about me.” 

“You know that isn’t true,” she whispered softly, like a thinly veiled confession she was afraid of. He was afraid of it too.

But it also exhilarated him, gave him strength and reassured him exactly when he most needed it. 

Ben turned his head just slightly, and brown eyes found piercing blue.

“I know,” he said. 

And then, without conscious thought, he slotted a hand beneath her chin and pulled her lips up to his, marveling in their softness and warmth. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it might just as well have been an entire lifetime.

“You taste like cigarettes,” Leslie said when they pulled apart, leaning her forehead against his. Her hand found his cheek, and she let it rest there, unmoving and warm. 

Like the sun.

Ben didn’t tell her that she tasted stronger than cigarette smoke, that she tasted like a drug he already knew he wouldn’t be able to get enough of, a drug he was going to be high on for a long time. 

Not that he really minded. 

He’d always been addicted to her anyways. 

***

_Crazy how it feels tonight_

_Crazy how you make it alright, love_

_You crush me with the things you do_

_I do for you anything too_

_Sitting, smoking, feeling high_

_In this moment it feels so right_

***

The early heat of summer had been replaced by the biting winds of late November, but the stars were no less bright and the moon no less full as they sat with soft smiles, underneath the branches of their willow tree. It was a quiet night, serene, and not a sound other than the constant rise and fall of their chests could be heard. It was Thanksgiving, and mostly everyone was at home, likely finishing off the last of their pumpkin pies and cranberry tarts, but Ben couldn't think of a single place he’d rather be. 

Leslie traced patterns into the palm of his hand, running her nimble fingers over his larger ones before finally intertwining them all together. She had the vague aura of someone who wanted to say something, but Ben didn’t push; he knew she’d say it on her own time, and he was perfectly content to just sit here in the silence until she found the words. 

“College isn’t what I expected it to be,” she said finally, and she turned to plant a kiss on the crook of his neck. “I really miss you when we’re both away.” 

“I miss you too, but we’re here now.” 

“It doesn’t feel like enough,” she whispered, and Ben knew exactly what she meant. Seeing her was like taking his first breath of fresh air in months, but his lungs still weren’t quite full enough. He ached to touch her, to fold her into his arms and murmur promises in her ear, even though she was right here and he could do all of those things. It was the knowing that this time together would be too short that made everything feel so…empty, so lacking. 

Because Ben Wyatt wanted nothing more than to fill each and every single one of his days with Leslie Knope. He wanted to strike a deal with the universe, figure out a way to stretch out time so that he wouldn't have to leave in just three days and begin the countdown until Christmas. 

“I know,” he agreed. “I want more time with you.” 

He wanted all the time in the world with her. His days felt meaningless unless she was in them, but then again, they always had. 

Strangely enough, he’d been perfectly content to leave the rest of his life behind when he went away, content to leave his mother and father, brother and sister, and all of his friends, but not her. 

Never her. 

He found that as he lay in bed most nights at school, staring at the ceiling, his mind would always wander to images of Leslie. He could see her with blonde hair flying out behind her as she pulled him through the wildflowers in Ramsestt Park, laughing at him over her shoulder as he stumbled over nothing at all. He could see her with her hands clutching his as they danced through the grass by their tree, even though there was no music playing, no symphony but the faint sounds of tires over pavement in the distance. He could see her with curls fanned out on her pillow as her hand found purchase in his hair and he ran his tongue over her goosebumps. 

He saw her everywhere and in everything. He saw her in flowers and bright smiles and talks of the future. 

He saw her in all things happy and bright.

“Leslie?” he asked, but there was no answer, and when Ben finally looked down at her, snuggled into his side, he found that she was sleeping soundly. She looked younger when she slept, peaceful, and Ben pushed an errant curl from her face, smiling to himself. 

After a few moments, he gathered her into his arms like a groom carrying his bride over the threshold and into their new life together, and he held her close to his chest, close to the rapid beating of his heart. 

“Ben?” she mumbled, peeling her eyelids back and pressing her face into his neck. “Where are we going?”

When he reached the car, he set her down and tugged her beanie over her eyes until she giggled tiredly and swatted his hands away, the sleepy grin never leaving her lips.

“For a drive.”

***

_Lovely lady_

_I am at your feet_

_God I want you so badly_

_I wonder this_

_Could tomorrow be_

_So wondrous as you there sleeping_

_Let’s go drive ’til morning comes_

_***_

He realized he loved her as they watched the sunrise.

The weeping branches of their willow tree cast shadows across her face in the early light of morning, and Ben suddenly couldn't help but to be stunned by just how beautiful she was. He’d noticed it before of course, but never like this. This was a different kind of beauty, one attached to an emotion, a feeling that ran deep.

Love. 

He was in love with her. 

There would have been a time when the idea of being in love with anyone would have terrified him, sent him running as fast as he could in the opposite direction, but Leslie made him unafraid. She made him embrace the idea, the vulnerability and power of it all. He was only left to wonder how he hadn't noticed it before because the feeling was so strong now, so sudden and real. It consumed him, filled him up in the best ways possible.

It was soulfully enriching.

Her fingers found his as she looked out over the horizon, but neither of them moved to intertwine them, instead settling for just running fingertips over knuckles and across palms. Her touches still sent electricity through him, even though they’d shared their first kiss four years ago now.

Four years to the day, actually. 

“We graduated yesterday,” she said, not for the first time that hour. 

“We did.” 

“And now we can finally date like normal people,” she laughed, and he joined her with a soft chuckle of his own, plucking a pack Marlboro Reds from the breast pocket of his worn flannel. “We don't have to worry about distance anymore, and I can suck your dick whenever I feel like it.” 

“Speaking of sucking my dick…” 

A cigarette now hung loosely from his bottom lip, and Leslie took the lighter from his hands, setting the tobacco aflame herself. He breathed deeply and threw his head back, exhaling so that the smoke raced towards the still rising sun. 

“You want a blowjob at seven-thirty in the morning?” she asked incredulously. 

“Yes ma’am,” he said, putting out his cigarette, and pulling her closer to him. He planted a kiss on the tip of her nose. “There’s no better time for it, really.” 

She insisted that he was insane, but nipped at his earlobe anyway. 

They sank down to their knees together, and Ben wrapped his arms around her as her lips pressed against his. Her fingers coiled into his hair, and soon she was guiding his mouth down her neck and across the tops of her breasts, all amongst soft moans. She was dominant and demanding, and Ben found himself submissive in her touch, catering to her every need rather than his own. 

He would always take care of her. 

When she cupped him through his jeans, he bit down on her shoulder, but even that couldn't stifle the sound that whistled past his teeth, the sound that was somewhere between a groan and a yelp as she pushed him onto his back. She deftly worked at the buttons on his flannel, kissing down his neck and chest. She paid special attention to each of his nipples, pulling them between her teeth before moving further downward and sliding his pants down until they pooled around his ankles. 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, cupping the back of her neck, curls twisting around his fingers. She smiled and kissed up his shaft before swallowing him completely, causing him to involuntary jerk up and drop his hand from her hair. “Oh god, Leslie.” 

He was absolutely, ridiculously in love with her, and there was no going back now.

Not that he would ever want to. 

Blonde curls bounced lightly as her head bobbed up and down, and Ben propped himself up on his elbows so that he could better watch her. Her lips were plump and wet around his dick, and the sight of her like this, so open and unguarded, was enough to send him over the edge. 

When she pulled back, a string of spit mixed with cum followed her lips, and she looked up at him with dark eyes. 

So hauntingly beautiful. 

“Come here,” he panted, pulling her up to his mouth. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

He reached behind him and wrapped his fingers around the wine bottle resting against the trunk of their tree. He uncorked it with a pop and offered her first sip, marveling in the way the sun seemed to further illuminate her hair. 

She was incandescent, he thought, and he was in love with her. 

“Leslie I- I…” 

“I know. Me too,” she said, and then much softer, “Me too, Benji.” 

And after just one sip of wine, he felt intoxicated. 

***

_Watch the sunrise_

_To fill our souls up_

_Drink some wine ’til we get drunk_

_It’s crazy I’m thinking_

_Just knowing that the world is round_

_***_

Snow crashed down around them, piercing and relentless as if the heavens themselves had been torn open and thrown across the world. It would have been beautiful, pristinely white and glittering on the willow tree’s branches, if not for the biting cold that left Leslie’s cheeks red in its wake. 

Leslie threw out her arms and spun, looking oddly angelic in the pale moonlight, and the icy crystals beneath her feet only highlighted her features, glinting against her chin and bringing out the blue in her eyes. 

And Ben wondered idly if only bold things could be beautiful. 

“Lovely lady, may I have this dance?” he asked, extending an arm in invitation. 

“You may.” She moved her hand up to his shoulder and they began to sway, movements perfectly in tune with one another, even as the snow crunched beneath them. He twirled her several times, moving in an elegant circle around their tree, and when they finally came back to where they began, he found that he was out of breath for seemingly no reason at all. 

He needed a cigarette, he thought, but then again he always did these days.

“Whatcha thinking about?” she asked, her head tilting off to the side as her eyes pierced him, demanding yet soft, because she knew him better than anyone. She knew something wasn't right, that something was just off kilter.

“A pack of Marlboros.” 

“Why?” she asked, toying with the ends of his hair and curling it in her fingers. “You haven't smoked for seven months now.” 

Neither of them had moved to part, even though they were no longer dancing, instead choosing to stand together, hands clasped as flurries fell around them, landing in eyelashes and on shoulders, whitening their hair.

“Because I got that job,” he murmured. “At City Hall.” 

“Ben, that’s great news!” 

“No,” he stopped her with a curt shake of his head. “No, it isn’t. What if you get the internship in Parks? There’s a rule…” 

She squeezed his fingers and leaned her forehead against his, kissing the tip of his nose softly. “I know. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“But what if…?”

“You worry too much, Benji.” 

He sighed in defeat, and she twirled out in his arms, bringing their dance back to life.

“I love you,” he said suddenly, bringing the new silence they shared shattering around them.

The words tasted sweet and new on his lips- better than any cigarette ever would.

He was in love with her. 

And she was all he ever needed, for now and until the end of time.

***

_Here I’m dancing on the ground_

_Am I right side up or upside down_

_Is this real or am I dreaming_

***

The willow tree stood tall and fierce, a mere silhouette against the setting sun, and Ben relished in Leslie’s heat as her back pressed up against his front. He was leaning against the tree, and she was curled against him as they sat in a familiar silence. He ran his fingers up and down her arms, pausing every now and then to bring her wrists up to his lips and plant featherlight kisses there, even though it was a scandalous thing to do in public now, dangerous. 

Dangerous because he was her boss now, and they couldn't be seen together anymore- not this way.  

“I miss this,” he whispered in her ear. “I miss being able to touch you whenever I want.” 

“Me too. I hate having to be sneaky at work.”  

“Because you’re not that good at it?” he teased. 

“Excuuuuse me, sir!” She turned around in his arms, giving him the most pointed look she could muster. “I’m _very_ good at being sneaky!” 

“Uh huh.” He pushed her hair off to the side and kissed the base of her neck. “I don’t believe you.” 

She humphed and turned back around just in time for the last of the sun to disappear over the horizon, the brightness of her hair dimming in the sudden loss of light. It was as the shadow of night loomed over her, that Ben realized it was these little moments he lived for, these tiny, seemingly insignificant wonders that fueled the fire of his life. 

And for the first time in a long time, he had a vision of something good, had a vision of himself getting down on one knee in front of the willow, professing his love to Leslie and asking for her hand. He saw a wedding and children and sitting side by side in their old age, still just as happy as they were on the day they first fell in love.

He saw a future.

And he didn’t used to see that sort of thing, really. 

“Do you want kids?” he asked her, suddenly plagued by curiosity. They’d never discussed this before. 

Leslie mulled over his question for a moment, but then her face softened and she pushed back into him, saying, “Maybe someday,” with a small smile. 

“Me too,” he mused. “I didn’t used to, but now…” 

“I didn’t either. I was more focused on my career, and I still am, but now I have someone who…”

She let her thought trail off, but Ben mentally filled in the silence for her.

_Someone who I want to have kids with._

He resumed trailing his fingers up and down her arms, peppering kisses along her neck and jaw. She turned in his grasp so that she could slot her lips against his, but her kiss wasn’t sweet. It was hot and full of energy, lingering on his lips in a way that made it feel like Leslie’s mouth was still pressed there, even as she pulled back. 

She made to unbutton his jeans, but Ben stopped her and told her to lie down. 

“I’m gonna take care of you,” he told her, pushing her skirt up and panties down. She was breathtaking like this, laid out on the dirt with hair fanned out around her, almost making it appear as though the sun hadn’t actually set at all.

A light rain began to fall as Ben wrapped his arms around Leslie’s thighs, pulling her up to his mouth, but it didn’t amount to anything really; it was just a faint drizzle. He kissed her curls, and when he looked up, his eyes meeting hers, he found that she was already looking at him longingly. Her hand crept into his hair and held onto it tightly, urging him on.

“I’m so in love with you,” he said, licking up her center in a long, solid stroke. The more he licked and sucked at her, the harder her thighs pressed against the sides of his head. He loved going down on her like this- unable to breathe but completely surrounded by her; he almost felt as though he could get lost, and for once, that wasn't such a bad thing. 

Because he would also be found, pieced back together and made whole again by her love.

The rain began to pelt down, harder now and more ferocious than before as Ben lapped at her. He pulled her clit into his mouth and applied just the slightest amount of suction, not caring that his shirt was now completely stuck to him. When he looked up at her again, his hair was matted down, falling in front of his eyes and obscuring his view. Leslie was writhing on the ground, head thrown back and mud seeping into her curls. 

He ate her like a man starved, and he could feel her climbing to a climax, sure and fast. Her hold on his scalp tightened and she ground against his face, her moans obliterated by the falling rain.

When she came, his name on her lips was like a roll of thunder in itself. 

Lightening struck, illuminating her closed eyes and parted lips for no longer than a second, and then her features were distorted by darkness once more, and her body became lax in his arms. 

Her breathing was heavy and hard when she sat up, and she pulled his mouth back to hers, surely able to taste herself on his tongue. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, breath hot on his face.

“Of course,” he said back, as water dripped from his hair and into his eyes. The storm waited for no one, however, and it only became angrier as Ben willed time to stand still. Thunder sounded and brought them both back to earth, just as suddenly as they’d left it. 

Leslie looked at him, the perfect mixture of panic and excitement glinting in her face. 

“Run!” she yelled, grabbing his hand and pulling him up with her as lightening flashed in the distance, and they danced together, through the night. 

***

_Lovely lady_

_Let me drink you please_

_I wont spill a drop, I promise you_

_Lying under this spell you cast on me_

_***_

The clouds were golden behind the sun, and the skies were clear as Ben walked the familiar path in Harvey James Park- the one so delightfully worn down by his own footprints. He could see the weeping willow at the end of it, and judging by the shimmer of yellow he caught there, Leslie was already waiting for him. 

He toyed with the ends of his sleeves as he walked, and watched not the ground in front of him, but rather his growing destination. The sun was not quite in the middle of the sky, but tilted just slightly off to the side so that it’s rays seeped through the willow’s branches like fluorescent silk, giving it an overall celestial quality. 

When he finally reached her, Leslie’s back was to him, and she was looking out over the rolling hills that stretched out beyond, never-ending. 

“Hey.” He tapped her on the shoulder lightly so as not to startle her, but she didn’t seem at all surprised by his presence. 

“Hi,” she said, and her voice cracked just from saying that one small word.

“What’s wrong?” 

She turned around, head down and shook her head like it was nothing, but Ben didn’t believe her. When he slid a hand under her chin and pulled her face gently upward, he saw tear tracks streaming down her cheeks, and he immediately wiped them away, only for new ones to be formed. 

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” 

But instead of answering, she buried her face into his flannel and hugged him closer, raking sobs coursing through her body. Ben tucked her head under his and rubbed at her back soothingly.

“Baby, are you okay? What do you need me to do?”

“Just hold me,” she asked, clutching him tighter, nails digging into his skin. “Please.”

“Of course, babydoll. I’d hold you forever if you asked me to.” 

“You can’t.” 

The words came out sudden and harsh as she choked back a hiccup. “You can’t because I…”

“You what?”

Leslie didn’t answer straight away, but pulled back and used the heels of her hands to push the tears from her face. Ben bent down just slightly, so that he was eye level with her, and he held her arms, almost afraid to let her go. His eyes met hers with unspoken questions. 

“Ben, I got approached by campaign managers today, and they want me to run for City Council.” 

His heart began to swell with pride. This was her dream! “Leslie, that’s-” 

“And they asked if there were any scandals they should know about.” 

The words seemed to take a moment to reach him; almost as if they’d been shouted from one end of a very long tunnel, and he was on the other side of it, waiting for them to be met by his ears. But when they did reach him, they came at him with full force, almost knocking his knees out from underneath him.

“Scandal?” he whispered, the backs of his own eyes beginning to prickle. When Leslie didn’t answer, he asked again, even though he already knew the answer, even though he already knew that _they_ were the scandal. 

_He_ was the scandal. 

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, reaching for him, but he was already backing away. Her arm fell limp at her side, but her fingers still twitched, like she couldn't make up her mind. 

“There must be a way we can…” he pleaded.

Leslie took a tentative step closer, and when he didn’t back away, she took his hand into hers and leaned her forehead against his. Their breaths fell, heavy and sad, no longer in tune with each other, and all Ben could think of was of how broken he was. 

_How crushed he was._

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered against his mouth, and when her lips met his, Ben squeezed his eyes shut, tears spilling over the sides and staining his cheeks. This kiss was a lot like their first one- short and sweet, but this time it was not a beginning.

This time it was goodbye. 

They pulled apart and Ben averted his eyes, dropping her hand. 

His body began to move on it’s own accord, and he found himself stricken by the fact that it seemed to be able to function even in the absence of what he’d just lost. The world still turned and life advanced onward, unable to budge as he walked away from her. Leslie fell to her knees behind him, and he just willed his not to give out beneath him.  

And though he had not smoked in two years now, Ben found himself thinking of nothing but the almost primal need for a cigarette.

As if that actually could mend his soul, which was now so damaged. 

_***_

_Each moment_

_The more I love you_

_Crush me_

_Come on_

_It’s crazy I’m thinking_

_***_

The night was starry and bright, but the moon was nowhere to be seen, likely looming behind a cloud in the darkness. Ben wasn't even sure how he’d ended up here, kicking at the dirt around the willow tree as he paced back and forth. Finally he settled down in front of it and drew his knees up to his chest, mentally replaying the not-so-distant images of Leslie and himself here.

He could see everything in his mind’s eye as if it was actually happening in front of him, unfolding like a movie just slightly sped up. He could so clearly see the first time he and Leslie had met here, when they were just eight years old, and they’d both come to the tree looking for solace, but found each other instead. The memories sped up two years to when they played leap frog in a circle all around the massive trunk, the tree behaving like their guardian, but still unable to protect them from the horrors of the world- for that was the night Robert Knope died in a car crash. He could see the day, just one week after that, when he and Leslie sent Chinese lanterns up into the sky to honor her father, to say their last goodbyes. 

He remembered walking up the path leading to the willow on the night of their senior prom, only to see Leslie already there, in her red taffeta dress and heels, crying into her hands because Justin had gone home with Jen that night. He remembered draping his suit jacket over her shoulders and making some corny joke about hating the blue tux Cindy had picked out for him, which made her laugh. 

He remembered everything that was theirs- their first kiss, their first time making love, their first I love you.

Their last goodbye. 

He pulled out a cigarette, the feeling of it between his teeth now so familiar again, and replayed a scenario in his mind where the events of their last encounter had played out differently. He thought of what life would be like if he wasn’t her boss, if there hadn’t been a rule, if she’d never even launched her City Council campaign in the first place. 

But this was her dream. This is how it was _supposed_ to happen.

And it would never matter that he’d lost _his_ dream in the process. 

“I thought you were trying to quit,” someone said behind him as he blew a puff of smoke into the air, and Ben shut his eyes tightly. He recognized that voice all too well- it was the one that’d been haunting him for the past three months. 

“It didn’t work,” he said back, still not looking at her. 

“Benji…?”

“What?” he snapped. This time he turned his head upward, and surely she must’ve seen the tears in his eyes. “What, Leslie?” 

She began to cry now too, and her entire body shook. “I’m sorry, I just…”

Ben’s features softened as he watched her and realized that she was hurting too, and his anger was replaced by a dull pain once more. He put out his cigarette and pushed off the ground, engulfing her into his arms and ignoring the part of his brain that screamed this was a bad idea, that screamed at him to stop because this would not make it any easier.

“I know,” he whispered into her hair instead. “I know, and I’m sorry.” 

Holding her again made him happier than he’d been in months, but it still wasn't enough; it was part, but not whole, and instead of gluing his heart back together, it just deepened its wounds. 

He pulled one of her hands into his and held it on his chest, his other fingers moving to palm her waist. They swayed on the spot, foreheads pressed against one another and eyes never breaking contact. There were tears streaming down both of their cheeks, but neither of them cared, choosing instead to keep dancing together.

Dancing their last dance.

Ben did not know how long they stayed like that- it could have been seconds or hours, but time stood patiently still for them, and when she finally left, Ben slumped down to the ground once more, agonizing sobs taking over his body.

And to the power vested in the stars, he prayed for a miracle.

But then he remembered that he didn’t believe in miracles anymore. 

***

_Just knowing that the world is round_

_Here I’m dancing on the ground_

_Am I right side up or upside down_

_Is it real or am I dreaming_

_Lovely lady I will treat you sweetly_

***

Fall had approached them at last, bringing with it bright hues of red, yellow and orange, and stealing the green from the trees. Fallen leaves crunched beneath Ben’s feet as he walked to his new favorite bench in Harvey James Park- the one set off to the side, which still had a perfect view of everything that was happening, but didn’t require him to participate in any of it. 

He’d been coming out here a lot lately, often on his lunch breaks when he found that he just wanted to be alone, away from the demands of the real world. It was strange, because this place begun to feel like it wasn't even real at all, like everything that had happened here had existed only in the confines of his mind. It was like Leslie was slipping further and further away, and no matter how much he tried to hold on, he was losing her anyways.

The sun beat down on his neck, his only source of warmth on this otherwise chilly day, and it was as he basked in its warmth that he saw her.

His lovely lady.

He knew that Leslie wasn’t really his anymore and that she hadn’t been for a while, but it didn’t stop the words from crossing his mind anyways as he spotted her across the pond. She was throwing breadcrumbs at the water’s edge for the ducks, and the sight of her brought a smile to his lips while simultaneously driving a knife into his gut. 

The knife deepened as he saw a man come up behind her, wrapping his arms around her as if Leslie was his. He whispered something in her ear that made her smile.

Ben looked away, down at his hands and when he looked up again, he saw Leslie looking back at him. Her eyes had lost their usual warmth, and the smile slowly slipped from her face. He held her gaze for only a few minutes, but then he couldn’t take it anymore and looked away again, pushing himself up. 

It was only once he’d reached the park’s gates that he turned back again and was met by the image of the man dipping Leslie and kissing her on the lips, the bag of breadcrumbs slipping from her fingers and falling across the plush grass, like dice over a roulette table.

And Ben would've been happy for her really, if only he thought she was happy for herself. 

***

_Adore you_

_I mean_

_You crush me_

_It’s times like these_

_When my faith I feel_

_And I know_

_How I love you_

_Come on_

_Lady_

***

Snow littered the ground, but it was no longer pristine and white, now caked with mud and mounted in high piles on either side of the road. The distinct sound of plows could be heard in the distance as Ben made his way to the weeping willow, hands shoved in his pockets, where his fingers could brush against the worn pack of Marlboros there.

He rounded the corner, and the tree came into view, it’s many branches holding icy crystals that twinkled in the flickering light of a distant streetlamp. Underneath the tree, just the shadow of a figure could be made out, but there was no denying it was Leslie; he knew her too well by now, knew her exact height and the quintessential curve of her nose. It could be no one else.

He contemplated turning back, leaving before she could notice that he was there, but his feet kept moving forward anyway, steering him to her like a magnet. His mind screamed at him to stop, but he didn’t; he kept walking even though it physically broke him to see her.

She didn’t turn around until he reached the tree, but when she did, he found that she was no less beautiful, and he hated her for it. He hated that she was everything to him. 

His sun, his moon and his stars.

His whole entire world. 

Life came to a screeching halt when she wasn't in it, and Ben longed for it to start up again. He’d tried everything to ease the pain- distance, no distance, claymation, fucking Shauna Malwae-Tweep, but nothing could fix him.

He used to think that the person who broke your heart could not be the one to fix it, but he knew better now; he knew that Leslie was the only one who could make him whole again.

She was the only one who ever could.

“Hi,” he said as their eyes locked. His hand was raised in an awkward wave, and his lips were pressed together in a tight smile.

“Oh, hi.” She pulled her jacket tighter around herself, but Ben knew it was just to give her hands something to do.

“Do you mind if I sit?” He gestured to the area next to her, and lowered himself down when she nodded that he could. Their shoulders brushed against one another, and the movement sent goosebumps down his spine.

They sat in silence for a moment, both hurting because of one another, but also healed by each other. 

Because love was strange like that.

“You grew a beard,” Leslie said eventually, but Ben suspected it was to break the silence more than anything else. The quiet was no longer comfortable, and he could feel every second of it like a constant reminder of what had happened. He supposed she had too.

“I did.” He ran a hand through the hair that now adorned his face. 

“And your hair is longer now.”

“It is,” he agreed again. He hadn’t cut it in ages now, and it came down in front of his eyes, curling just past the nape of his neck. Leslie reached out and tucked a strand of it behind his ear, something that he couldn’t quite place flickering behind her eyes. 

“I miss you,” she said, and the words came from nowhere, but it didn’t feel that way. It felt like they’d been hanging in the air long before she uttered them. “And I’m sorry for…everything.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said. “This is your dream.” 

Ben had pictured this moment so many times in his head, pictured her apologizing to him over and over again, but never once in those visions did he ever forgive her- he’d scream at her, yell that he’d given her his heart in his open hands and anything that she could ever want, but it wasn't enough. He’d been angry, hurt, but now, as he sat here with her hands twined in his hair, he realized that he just wanted her to be happy, no matter what that might mean for him.

“But it isn't turning out the way I want it to.” 

“What do you mean? Is something wrong with the campaign?” he asked, growing concerned. 

“No, no, nothing like that. I guess I just always pictured this happening while you’re by my side.” 

“Well that…that’s just not an option.” He gently moved her hand from his hair. “I’m sorry I shouldn't have stayed. It’s just making all of this harder than it needs to be.”

He pushed himself up and made to walk away, but Leslie’s voice stopped him in his tracks. When he turned back, he found that her red jacket contrasted starkly with the snow.

“Or we could just say screw it.” A small, hopeful smile played on her lips. 

“What?” 

“I miss you like crazy, I think about you all the time, I wanna be with you, so let’s just say screw it.” 

Thoughts about how this could turn into a scandal and ruin her campaign crossed his mind, but Ben didn’t care. He didn’t care that she was seeing someone else or that she’d hurt him so deeply. All he cared about was pulling her closer to him and bringing his lips crashing down on hers for the first time in so long. 

It was like his first breath of oxygen in months, and his nose pressed into her cheek as he deepened the kiss. It wasn’t sweet or loving like so many of the others that they’d shared; it was long and desperate and wholesome. 

Time had sped up again, and Ben almost wondered if it’d even stopped at all. 

***

_It’s crazy I’m thinking_

_Just as long as you’re around_

_And here I’ll be dancing on the ground_

_Am I right side up or upside down_

_To each other we’ll be facing_

_By love we’ll beat back the pain_

***

Flowers popped up from all over the ground, but today there were no roses and no thorns, only innocent lilacs and daises that welcomed Ben and Leslie into their most humble abode. The tree stood as tall as ever, though it was evident that it was old now, wise and modest in the sunshine. Ben stretched out in front of it, planting his head in Leslie’s lap and crossing his legs as he looked up into the sky, thinking only of how spring seemed to have crept up on them this year, sudden and warm, but welcome. 

Leslie combed her fingers through his hair, and he sighed contentedly. It was still long from their breakup, as not much time had passed, but he found that he almost didn’t want to cut it again. He felt different since they’d gotten back together, but not necessarily in a bad way. 

He plucked a flower from next to him, and swirled the stem in his fingers absently, before presenting her with it, and reaching up to slip it behind her ear.  She smiled down at him, covering his hand with hers and swooping down to plant a kiss on his forehead.

“I love you,” she said softly, her words swept away with the faint breeze. It was the first time either of them had said it in months now, and it felt just as sudden and new as the first time they ever had. 

Then again, those words had never really lost their spark. 

“I love you more.”

“Well, I love you most.”

“That’s impossible,” he whispered as he pulled her hand down to his lips and kissed her knuckles one by one, letting his lips graze each of them for no longer than a second before moving onto the next. 

The sun slowly began to set as they sat together, peering up at the clouds in a silence that was comfortable again, and neither of then spoke until it disappeared completely over the horizon.

“I know Jen offered you that job,” Leslie confessed, pink light playing across her face in the twilight. “In Washington.” 

“Yeah, but I’m not going to take it.” He traced the creases in her palm with one long finger. He’d forgotten how tiny she was, forgotten how she could be both so small and bigger than life at the same time. “I don't want to be away from you again.”

“Well, I think you _should_ take it.” 

Ben sat up and turned to face her. “What do you mean?”

“You put your whole life on hold for me. The least I could do is return the favor, and it’s only for six months, right?” She pulled his hands into hers and kissed them sweetly. “You should take it. This is something you’ve always wanted.” 

“I don’t know, babe.” he said, skeptical. “I’ll think about it.” 

She seemed content with his answer because her fingers found his hair again, and he laid back down, this time with Leslie stretched out at his side. They held hands and pointed out stars to one another, perfectly content to be doing absolutely nothing for just a little while more. 

Ben turned his head a fraction of an inch, until Leslie’s full profile came into view, and he swept the hair off her neck, planting a kiss there. He let his lips trail along the line of her jaw, and then back down her neck, finally stopping at the tops of her breasts. His eyes met hers, and when she gave a small nod, he unbuttoned her shirt meticulously, and frustrated, she pushed his hands away so that the job would get done quicker. 

Her hands found purchase in his hair as he kissed the space between her breasts and rolled a nipple between his forefinger and thumb. He relished in the quiet sigh that rushed passed her lips as he licked and sucked at her skin, going further and further downwards until he was at her waist. She lifted her hips so that he could pull her skirt and panties down, and bury his face between her thighs. 

He was not slow or gentle. He ate her with vigor, sucking her clit into his mouth and letting his teeth graze over it in a way that he knew didn’t hurt her at all, but actually turned her on even more. She ground against his face, and he didn’t care that he couldn’t breathe or see or think; all he cared about was the way she smelled, the way she tasted, the way she was quickly coming undone.

Her body jerked upward, and when she finally broke, he tightened his grip on her thighs and drank all of her, being sure not to spill a single drop. He breathed a sigh of relief into her curls before pulling back, her cum still coating his face and making a delicious mess of his beard.

“Fuck me, please,” she commanded, still out of breath. 

“Anything for you.”

And so he sank inside of her, and began to put her back together again. 

Because he was the only one who ever could. 

***

_We’ve found_

_You know_

_I mean to tell you all the things I’ve been thinking deep inside_

_My friend_

_With each moment the more I love you_

_Crush me_

_Come on_

_Lady_

***

The air had that distinct smell it tends to have right before it rains, and all Ben could think of was that a thunderstorm would only be appropriate given the current circumstances. The clouds swirled in the sky, dark and ominous, shielding the sun from view and giving the day an almost nighttime quality though it was only one in the afternoon. 

Leslie seemed oddly in tune with the weather too, for she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle, her tears staining into his back. He placed his hands over hers and leaned into her touch, because it wasn't like he’d be able to do that for very much longer.

He would be gone for six months at least, and truthfully, he didn’t know when he’d be back, didn’t know when he’d be able to hug her or kiss her or fall asleep by her side again, and it was eating at him. It had been ever since he called up Jen Barkley and told her that she would be seeing him in Washington this summer. 

He still didn’t know if he was making the right decision. Leslie assured him countless times that he was, but he was still hesitant. It’d been hard enough to be without her for most of her campaign, and he didn’t want to do it again while managing someone else’s. 

“I’m going to miss you so much,” she said as if reading his thoughts, her voice muffled by his suit jacket. 

“I’m going to miss you more.” He turned in her arms so that he could hug her properly and kiss her forehead. He let his lips linger there for a moment too long before pulling away and looking over her face, burning each of her features into memory.

He thought about how there was no shade of blue quite like her eyes as he kissed her tears away and pushed her hair behind her ears. 

“Don’t cry because of me,” he pleaded. “I’ll be back before you even know I’m gone.” 

They both knew that wasn’t true, but they let the words wash over them anyways; they allowed themselves to be swept up in them and consumed by them, because they were all they had- just words. 

“I have to get to the airport,” he whispered when he knew that they’d used up every ounce of the time they had left together. “Drive me?” 

“Of course.” 

He pulled the pack of cigarettes out of his suit pocket and slotted one between his teeth before grabbing Leslie’s hand in his own. He hadn’t been able to quit smoking since they got back together, and neither of them brought up the fact that he started up again in the first place. It was like acknowledging that they’d ever been broken up, when they were both still trying to heal their wounds. Things still weren’t perfect, and they weren’t even what they used to be, but they were good enough.

In some ways, they were even better; their relationship had only been made stronger by everything that happened, and he appreciated his love for her even more.

His sunshine. 

So, he swung their hands through the air and planted a chaste kiss on her lips as they walked together down the worn path and away from their tree, not to return again for several months.

And in the wind, the weeping willow’s branches waved goodbye. 

For now. 

***

_So much you have given love_

_That I would give you back_

_Again and again_

_Meaning I’ll hold you_

_And please_

_Let me always_

***

It was exactly midnight by the time Ben reached the weeping willow, and the skies were so blue that they almost appeared black to the untrained eye. His way was lit only by the twinkling of the stars, and Ben was reminded of the night he and Leslie shared their first kiss here, when he held her face in his hands and examined her features in the dim starlight, completely mesmerized by her. He remembered being amazed that someone like her could even exist.

And he still was. 

He thought of the other nights they’d shared here too, the ones that belonged solely to them and no one else- both the good and the bad. He recalled the distant memories of fucking her in the rain, dancing with her in the snow. He even remembered all the lonely times when he came here in Leslie’s absence, so that he and the willow could weep together for their losses.

Because the willow had been here, even when Leslie was not. 

Since he’d been in Washington, Leslie often said the same thing- that the tree carried them with it, in it’s strong roots and humble branches, and even while he was away, it was oddly like a part of him was still here, watching over her. Ben liked to think that was true, even if it was only in part, because he knew what it was like to be on the other side of that phenomenon, knew what it was like to miss Leslie and find her here, in Harvey James Park of all places. 

As if he’d be able to find her anywhere else. This place had always belonged to them, their tree as their witness, and they’d found a home here.

Really though, they’d found a home within each other.  

And seeing her after being away for so long, was like stepping through his front door. He found that he could breathe again, that he was relieved. 

He slipped his hands into his jacket pocket, fingers pushing past the cigarettes and lighter there, and stopping when they came into contact with cool wood. He smiled softly, brushing his knuckles over the surface as he watched Leslie from afar, her blonde hair shimmering as she looked out into the distance, at seemingly nothing in particular.

Another day he would’ve been content to just watch her, to marvel in the beauty that is Leslie Knope, but tonight he was eager; enough time had passed already, and there was something he had to do, something that couldn't wait even one more moment.

He tapped her on the shoulder, and she turned around, hair flying against the wind as her eyes widened in surprise and the biggest smile stretched across her face.

“Benji! I didn’t know you were coming back here!” she cried, throwing her arms around his neck. He pulled her off of her feet and swung her around once in his embrace, inhaling the familiar and comforting scent of her hair. 

God, he missed her, and he vowed in her ear to never leave again. Everything he wanted was right here, and he couldn't believe he’d ever left it in the first place.

“How’d you get here?” she asked as he put her down. There were tears in her eyes, and truthfully his own were beginning to well up too. 

Instead of answering her question though, he dropped down to one knee and pulled the wooden box from his pocket. The willow tree’s branches swayed against the wind as realization took over her face, and he showed her the diamond ring inside. 

“What are you doing?” Leslie asked, hands flying up to her face. “Oh my god, what are you doing?”

He smiled up at her and tried to ignore the shaking of his hands. 

“Lovely lady, I’m thinking about my future.”

**Author's Note:**

> I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKED THIS LINDSEY-LOO!!! You are a marvelous friend <3


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